Trusting Your Inner Voice

When facing an important, difficult decision, we’re given the advice to just trust ourselves. In that moment, self-trust can seem deceptively simple. But just because the advice feels obvious doesn’t mean it is easy to live out. 

In the face of a decision, it's easy to expect “self-trust” to feel like certainty, and, to be fair, sometimes that’s completely true. I’ve certainly had moments in my life where I just had a knowing of what the right choice was. 

But that’s definitely not always the case. You might be listening for your inner voice, and hearing nothing. That doesn’t mean you are doing anything wrong. There are a lot of reasons why your inner voice may be quieter than you expect. 

Sometimes the way you feel is simply meant to show up quietly. It might be a subtle feeling of unease, an unexplained hesitation, or a sense that something just feels right. These feelings don’t really have an explanation, and because of that they can be far too easy to explain away with logic. Consider: Is there something you are hearing that you haven’t listened to?

Also consider how other people’s opinions have influenced you. Sometimes other people’s opinions can cause us to ignore how we feel– which isn’t to say that seeking advice is bad, at all. Of course your loved one’s opinions will matter to you. But your opinion should matter to you, too. At the end of the day, you are the only one who knows what your inner voice is telling you.

 Most importantly, consider if you’re conflating your inner voice with having absolute certainty about what you should do. Listening to your inner voice isn’t about certainty, it is about being honest with yourself. Sometimes we simply aren’t meant to have all the answers. Maybe we just know the next step, but have no clue how the rest of the path will unfold. That can be scary, but that doesn’t mean you should ignore it. 

Let yourself be honest, even when it's difficult. That can look like acknowledging what you feel, even when you still feel doubt or uncertainty. That can look like admitting you’re unsure of your decision. That can even look like giving yourself more time to consider before you commit to a choice. 

It’s an unfortunate truth that your inner voice can make you extremely uncomfortable. You might make a decision that others in your life don’t truly understand. You might enter unfamiliar territory. Sometimes trusting your inner voice requires that you let go of your need for perfection. If you make a misstep, so be it. Trust that you will be able to figure it out. Trust that you can start over. When you learn to trust yourself to handle a misstep, it is far easier to listen to your inner voice. Let go of your need to have everything perfectly figured out. You will be able to handle it. 

There’s also some ways that can help your inner voice get stronger. 

Talk with someone you trust. I don’t mean just getting their opinion and letting it override your own. The best people to go to for advice are those that trust you too. It can be helpful to untangle your thoughts with someone who you know won’t judge you. Tell them the course of action you feel called to. Share what your inner voice has been telling you. Admitting it out loud can help it feel more real. 

Take care of your body. You won’t be able to hear your inner voice when your body is exhausted and depleted. Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep and rest. Move your body. Nourish yourself. When your body is cared for, your inner voice has more strength. 

Be kind to yourself. Sometimes you may make a misstep. Sometimes you might have to backtrack or start over. That’s okay. Not only is it normal, but it gives you more information on what is actually meant for you. When you let go of your desire for perfection, it is easier to trust yourself. 

Recognize your own courage. Listening to yourself isn’t easy to do. Be proud of being courageous. It’s easier to be kind to yourself when you acknowledge that what you’re doing is difficult. 

Overall, trusting your inner voice doesn’t mean having instant clarity, knowing every answer, or never making a mistake. It just means noticing and caring about the way you feel. When you do that, you end up with a life that feels more in alignment with who you are and what you want.  

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