Expanding Your Definition of Success

For most of us, success is associated with visible achievements. In school, that looks like getting good grades. Later in life, it becomes about landing a job, receiving a raise, or getting that promotion. 

It goes without saying that this idea of success isn’t entirely wrong. Of course we care about our careers. But that doesn’t mean it's complete either. In fact, it's missing something crucial.

I began to realize this at a time in my life where everything seemed to be going well. I was making progress in my career. I was moving forward on my goals. Everything should have felt successful. 

Except it didn’t. 

Internally, there was a disconnect between my success and how satisfied I felt with my life. Nothing was technically wrong, but I was still out of alignment with myself. And that’s a confusing place to be when we’ve been taught that success is all about accomplishment. 

In order to make sense of how I felt, I had to reconsider what success actually meant. And I realized that success, for me, isn’t just about what I’m doing, it’s about how I’m living. More specifically, success is my ability to live out my values. And in order to live out your values, you need to be connected to yourself.

Before this, all I was worried about was the typical definition of success: how much am I achieving? Now, I had to learn to ask new questions. Questions like: Do I feel connected to my life? Do I feel aligned with what I’m doing? Am I living out my values? 

I realized that I was living a life that was externally successful but nonetheless disconnected from what felt right for me. 

And that’s easy to do. Everyday life is busy and filled with momentum. And momentum isn’t a bad thing, but when you’re not careful, it can carry you away from yourself. Slowly, you drift into habits that don’t feel right, start making decisions based on external pressure, and stop noticing how you feel, all under the guise of moving forward. 

When you expand your definition of success, it becomes just as much about the quiet moments that you check in with yourself as the big accomplishments. It becomes about noticing when something feels off and actually listening to that. These may be small moments, but they add up. And over time, you learn to pause and choose your path with intention, instead of just getting carried by momentum. 

That doesn’t mean that expanding your definition of success will feel immediately easy. Oftentimes, it can create tension, since your internal sense of what matters and external expectations might be at conflict with each other. Because sometimes progress doesn’t always mean doing more. Sometimes it means taking a step back, letting go of what doesn’t align, or slowing down so that you can actually be present in your life. And that feels uncomfortable when we're used to measuring our success by how much we achieve. 

Remember that you don’t need to change everything overnight. Instead, start with small shifts. Notice the moments when you feel in alignment– and when you don’t. Consider whether you feel connected to your life. 

Respond with intention. You don’t need to be perfect. In fact, you shouldn’t be. You just need to return to yourself– and how you feel about your life– again and again. 

But how do you do that? How do you cultivate awareness? How do you stay connected with yourself? 

You maintain an inner practice. 

An inner practice creates space so that you can notice when your life doesn’t feel like it’s in alignment. It allows you to pay attention to how you’re actually feeling. It gives you the space to pause and consider where momentum is taking you. With an inner practice, you’re not just getting carried forward– you are choosing your path. 

Alumah was designed to give support checking in with your values. Through simple, yet structured moments of reflection, you have a place to return to yourself, daily if you choose. To reconnect. To notice. To realign. To create the kind of awareness that lets you actually live your values. And because that space is private, fully yours, you’re able to be honest about what is working and what isn’t. You have space to let go of expectations. 

I’ve been thinking about this idea of success for a long time—how easily we inherit a definition of it, and how different it can feel when we begin to question it. If you’re interested in hearing this in a more personal, spoken way, I explored this more deeply in my TEDx Duluth talk, The Shove Move: How values—not appearances—define progress. 

Because, for me, success isn’t just about where I’m going. It’s about whether I’m living in a way that actually reflects who I am. And that starts, quietly, consistently, by returning inward. 

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