Expanding Your Definition of Success

For a long time, I had a very clear idea of what success looked like.

It was easy to recognize.
Easy to measure.
Easy to explain to other people.

It looked like progress.
Achievement.
Momentum.
Moving forward in visible ways.

And in many ways, that definition made sense.

It gave direction.
It created structure.
It made it easy to know if you were “on track.”

But over time, something started to feel off.

Not in a dramatic way.
Just quietly.

When Success Doesn’t Feel Like Success

There was a point where, externally, things were working.

I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do.
Moving forward.
Making progress.

But internally, it didn’t feel the way I expected.

There was a disconnect.

Not because anything was wrong.
But because something wasn’t fully aligned.

And that’s a confusing place to be.

Because when your definition of success is mostly external, it’s hard to make sense of an internal signal that doesn’t match it.

You start to question yourself.

Why doesn’t this feel better?
Shouldn’t this be enough?
What am I missing?

The Definition We Inherit

Most of us don’t consciously choose our definition of success.

We inherit it.

From culture.
From school.
From work.
From the people around us.

It often includes:

• Achievement
• Recognition
• Productivity
• Measurable progress

And none of those things are wrong.

But they’re incomplete.

Because they don’t account for your inner experience.

They don’t ask:

• Do you feel connected to your life?
• Do you feel aligned with what you’re doing?
• Do you feel like yourself in the way you’re living?

The Shift for Me

Over time, I started to realize something important:

Success, for me, isn’t just about what I’m doing.
It’s about how I’m living.

More specifically:

Success is my ability to live my values.

And I can only do that when I’m actually connected to myself.

Because without that connection, it’s easy to:

• drift into habits that aren’t intentional
• make decisions based on external pressure
• move quickly without really noticing how things feel

What I began to see is that living my values doesn’t happen automatically.

It requires awareness.

And that awareness doesn’t come from thinking more or doing more.

It comes from having some kind of inner practice.

Why Inner Practice Matters

Inner practice is what keeps you connected.

It creates space to:

• notice what’s actually happening within you
• recognize when something feels off
• return to what matters before you move forward

Without it, it’s very easy to operate on autopilot.

To move through your days reacting, responding, producing—without ever really checking in.

And when that happens, even progress can feel disconnected.

But when you have some form of inner practice—even something simple—it changes how you move through your life.

You’re not just doing things.

You’re choosing them.

Expanding What Counts as Success

When I began to see success this way, it started to expand.

It wasn’t just about outcomes anymore.

It included things like:

• pausing instead of reacting
• making a decision that felt aligned, even if it wasn’t the easiest
• noticing when something didn’t feel right and actually listening to that
• creating space in my day to return to myself

These are small moments.

But they add up.

And they shape your life just as much—if not more—than the visible milestones.

A Different Kind of Progress

Progress doesn’t always look like doing more.

Sometimes, it looks like:

• doing less, but with more intention
• letting go of something that no longer aligns
• choosing not to continue something just because it’s expected
• slowing down enough to actually be present in your life

This kind of progress is quieter.

But it’s more sustainable.

Because it’s rooted in something real.

The Tension You Might Feel

When you start to expand your definition of success, there can be tension.

Because your internal sense of what matters may not always match external expectations.

You might feel:

• pulled between what looks successful and what feels aligned
• uncertain about what to prioritize
• like you’re moving differently than people around you

That tension doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

It means you’re starting to define success for yourself.

What This Looks Like Practically

This doesn’t require a complete life overhaul.

It starts with small shifts.

You begin to ask:

• Does this align with what I value?
• Am I connected to what I’m doing, or just moving through it?
• What would it look like to show up differently here?

And then you respond in small ways.

Not perfectly.
But intentionally.

Where Alumah Fits In

If success is about living your values, then you need space to stay connected to them.

Not occasionally—but consistently.

That’s what Alumah was designed to support.

Through simple, structured moments of reflection, you have a place to return to yourself—daily if you choose.

Not to achieve something.

But to reconnect.

To notice what’s true.
To realign when things feel off.
To create the kind of awareness that allows you to actually live your values—not just think about them.

And because that space is private—fully yours—you’re able to be honest about what’s working and what isn’t.

Without needing to filter it or explain it to anyone else.

A Final Thought

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to achieve things.

To grow.
To build something meaningful.

But success doesn’t have to be defined only by what can be seen.

It can also be defined by how you live.

By whether your actions reflect what matters to you.
By whether you feel connected to your life as it’s happening.

I’ve been thinking about this idea of success for a long time—how easily we inherit a definition of it, and how different it can feel when we begin to question it.

I explored this more deeply in my TEDx Duluth talk, The Shove Move: How values—not appearances—define progress, if you want to hear it in a more personal, spoken way.

For me, success isn’t just about where I’m going.

It’s about whether I’m living in a way that actually reflects who I am.

And that starts—quietly, consistently—by returning inward.

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